Max and His Brilliant Ideas

This is the view I got tonight as I turned away from the stove to see why they were playing together so well for more than two minutes... seriously they were having one heck of a time... he was pulling her around on the wood floors and she was pretending to be a dog.

I have no doubt, if Alex survives her time with Max, she will be able to handle anyone and anything!

Please, let him be right!

So, we're watching the last presidential debate tonight and at one point Max just says - totally out of the blue - Mommy, the boy with the white hair will never win!

He Did It!

Max went off the diving board yesterday for the first time. It's been his goal since he first submerged his head in the water last Spring. When we started swimming outside this summer he would see all the kids lined up and jumping off the board and he so badly wanted to be able to do it. We told him he had to learn to swim first so that he would be able to swim in the deep water by himself... and so he did.

He tried going off the board last week, but got to the edge and was too scared to go so he turned around. He was still pretty scared this week, but he really wanted to do it. For his first time, Dan was able to be in the water nearby. And I cried, of course, as I watched him. I was so proud of him for working so hard to be able to do that... at four! He was so pleased with himself!!!!

He started crying at bedtime last night... Dan asked why... and he said, I don't want the first-day-I-went-off-the-diving-board to be over.

Floating in Bubbles

This was one of those rare times when the bath had a calming effect on both of them. Usually water is flying everywhere, the playful noise is deafening, and they are yelling at me - "Go away, Mommy... so that you can't see what we are going to do... Mommy, go fold some clothes!"

Return from the Void

It’s been about three months since my last post... every time I’ve slumped into this chair at the computer to write I’ve had absolutely nothing to say...nothing funny or eloquent or even remotely interesting... even when my finger stopped throbbing when it struck the keyboard. At least that’s how I felt. But my fingernail has finally come off and it seems a good time (completely absurd reason) to get back to the documentation.

This summer we camped at the Sand Dunes, visited friends in Durango, traveled to the East coast to visit Dan’s family, traveled to the West coast to visit Tootie and Fox, went swimming almost everyday in between, and on the second weekend in July we camped near Lake Granby... at one of the worst campsites ever. It was so bad, when we pulled up to our reserved site I just started to cry.

Let’s just say it was the the type of campground where you got nothing but extremely good views of your neighbors’ cars... where you constantly say to yourself...what the **** is the point of this?!... and then you see how fabulously happy your kids are playing in the rocks and dirt next to the fire, and roasting marshmallows, and then they’re unbelievably ecstatic to brush their teeth outside and get ready for bed because they can’t wait to be sleeping in a tent - in their own sleeping bag - with you!... and then you’re all, this isn’t so bad... tomorrow’s hike will be so good... ya, you’ll really feel like you’re in the mountains tomorrow...

Eight hours of constantly waking every 15 minutes go by and I get up and make coffee and it tastes soooo good and the kids wake up happy and everything goes pretty smoothly and I almost don’t even mind having to wake up in a parking lot because we had a magnificent day hike through Rocky Mountain National Park planned. Everyone was pretty excited when we all started hiking. Alex was in the backpack and Max was walking. Then, a quarter of a mile in... SCREECH!!! Max stops suddenly and declares, “I’m done with this. I’m tired.” It was a beautiful day, the scenery was amazing, and I just DESPERATELY wanted to HIKE. We were finally in the mountains!!! After all of the positive reinforcement, then deals, and eventually, pleas I could muster; I realized he really was - absolutely - done. So I gave Max a piggy-back ride... for the better part of about six miles. And it was well worth it. On our way out, we spotted this moose. It was one of the best moments ever.

Whew! I get out the door without crushing any bones. We are only running 5 minutes late as opposed to our usual fifteen, Alex has her enormous bed-head tangle combed out before noon for once, and Max is actually wearing a new shirt today without one once of protest. (Who is this child I think to myself?)

Usually we discuss traffic patterns on the way to school. Max is obsessed with knowing what all of the signs say and what they mean. So while I'm explaining what it means to yield and why sometimes you can make a right turn on red and sometimes you can't, Alex is bouncing back and forth in her car seat to the current song on the radio. I especially like the times when they are both rockin' out to the song on the radio...but more often than not they're telling me to turn it off because they don't like it. Occasionally there is a fight between them about whether the windows should be rolled down or up. I always win that one.

But today, today is different. Max is blowing his nose (into a tissue-hallelujah!) and all of the sudden he exclaims that his booger is ORANGE. I check it out at the red light. It's sort of orangish, but I don't want to burst any bubbles we're riding on so I agree with him. Then he blows again and gets more out and cries, "MOM, LOOK AT THIS ONE! THIS IS THE COOLEST BOOGER I EVER GOT OUT!" Alex agrees because he's showing her, "YA, Max. IT IS!"

So.. I felt I should record it... as with all of his firsts and special occasions: today Max blew the coolest booger ever.

stellar parenting

This week has sucked. I've been riddled with some achy, snotty, you-just-feel-like-crap all over, preschool plague, then ended up with the most disgusting case of pink-eye EVER, and just this morning - as I was running out of the house - I slammed my finger in the door! I slammed it so hard I actually heard the bone crunch!!!!

Do you know what hurts worse than natural childbirth? Fracturing your GDMF fingertip.

Do you know how many new words my children learned this morning when they witnessed my grace? Well, at least five. That's how many I heard repeated in the car on the way to school.

I am both intrigued and very afraid of what may come out the next time they hurt themselves.

'Tis the Season

The garden treats have arrived. Our first asparagus harvest was about a week ago and even with all the frost we've been having, we've still managed to save them and have a couple of meals. The best part is watching Max and Alex munch happily away...

Bath Time

Bath time tends to get a bit edgy when your little sister has a slight habit of shitting logs almost half the size of her body length into the tub. Such was the case a couple of weeks ago and Max has definitely not forgotten the incident. Tonight they were both taking a bath and Max had his goggles on so that he could see underwater and play. (I usually put so much water in the baths that it's like a small swimming pool for them. I know it's bad, but I remember taking baths in England when I was little in only 2 inches of cold water and it really sucked. So I go extremely overboard in making bath time enjoyable for my little prince and princess.)

ANYWAY, Max was underwater checking out the scene when all of the sudden he bolted out of the water exclaiming, "MOMMY, ALEX IS POOPING IN THE BATHTUB! GET ME OUT! QUICK, HURRY! GET ME OUT! Apparently he was too panicked to remember that he can actually get out himself. Alex was looking at him like, "WHAT?! I did? WHAT???" So I assessed the water and found a brown, toy dog (one of those animal figurines) lying close to her bottom. I laughed and told Max and he gave a big sigh of relief. Then he went back to patrolling the waters.

I cannot blame him one bit.

Bedtime

Me: Goodnight, Max. I love you so much.

Max: I love you so much too, Mommy. I hope you don't ever die. (holding back tears)

Me: Me too. I will try my very best to stay healthy and safe. (Honestly, I don't know what to say to that. I mean, I can't promise him that I won't...)
You know you're the most special boy in the whole world to me. (Usually then he just keeps whispering that last sentence to himself over and over in pieces: the WHOLE world, the whole world, most special boy...)

Tonight he said: Mommy, you're my favorite girl. You're my favorite Mommy.
*deep, sweet, sigh*

Me: I had lots of fun swimming with you today. You did such a great job!

Max: Ya, I did actually.

Me: Ya. You were almost doing summersaults under water. That was so cool.

Max: Ya. It was.

Me: Goodnight, sweetheart.

Max: Goodnight.

And he settled into my arm and fell asleep. He still falls asleep the same way he used to as a baby... nestled in and under my right arm.

I have to admit, there are nights I get tired of the bedtime routine. With baths and teeth brushing and reading it takes a good hour and a half if not two hours every night. But I always love being there with him when his little body relaxes and his breathing gets heavy and he falls gently into sleep. It's sacred to me.

Alex likes to wrap up in her special blanket. She calls it her B. Lately, after I turn the lights out, she likes to turn her 'turtle' on. (It has different colored lights inside it and the shell part has all of these holes shaped like stars so that the entire room becomes filled with all of these bright little stars. She likes to go through the different colors: for orange she says Max, blue is always Daddy, and green is her color when I lye beside her. Then she tries to catch all of the stars. After that, she usually talks to her stuffed-animal posse who keep her company throughout the night.

(I had no idea how many stuffed animals there were EVERYWHERE until I had Alex. She LOVES them-Max could give a rat's ass about 'em-but she always finds them in every store we go to and she falls instantly in love. Last week I had to get a leak fixed in one of the car tires so I went to Big-O. They had a couple of those Little-O thingawhatevers all over the place. She was carrying three within seconds saying, "have them, Mommy." Needless to say we came home with one. I'd like to say it's because they were free, but I'm known to lay down a couple of bucks for those suckers just to avoid the scene. Hence the ever-growing-posse.)

She'll reach for her favorite-of-the-day and tuck it under and turn away from me and fall fast asleep. She used to like to fall asleep on my chest, but she's done with that. She's never been much of a snuggler. Sometimes she'll just cover herself and said favorite-animal-of-the-day entirely in her blanket and fall asleep... She sounds like an angel.

The kids are both taking a nap right now. It's strange when the house is this quiet - it's such a rare occurrence these days. I didn't quite know what to do with myself so I made this wreath from the grasses we had out front. ( I pruned and cut our xeric front landscape last weekend. ) I could have done so many things with this quiet time. I could have: washed the hand prints off the windows and sliding glass door, emptied the dishwasher, washed the dishes piled in the sink, mopped the floors, started some laundry, folded some laundry, made dinner, worked on raising donations for teacher appreciation week, called to make appointments I've been meaning to make for weeks, called friends, called my family, cleaned the bathrooms, downloaded some more music, read some blogs, read one of my new books, dusted, watered the plants, searched for all of the missing toys and very important game pieces, picked up all of the other toys and very-important-absolutely-necessary-to-play game pieces that are lying all over the floor and put them away, put all of Dans' clothes lying all over the bedroom floor away, plucked my eyebrows, made some tea, and even taken a nap myself. But no, I had this queer calling to be crafty... and then to blog about it.

This is what happens when you're sitting on top of the dryer (while your mom folds laundry) and your brother slides the pillow he's been landing on (after launching off the washer) next to the dryer and tells you to try it too and jump.

He looks like he's having fun so you say, "OKAY, MAX!", and off you go (while your mother is in the next room putting clothes away, of course) - only the dry rack is in the way and you end up partially landing on it. Next thing you know, your brother is telling you how sorry he is and how much it looked like THAT hurt! This is what happens a lot when you do what your brother says...

Thanks, Mom!

Dan and I skiing the trails at Devil's Thumb Ranch. We had a great weekend!

La La

Alex loves to watch and feed the fish when Max is in school. She stands there saying, "HI FISH! HI! Hi Fish!" and then listens for them to respond. She really loves animals...especially dogs!

The other day when I was putting Alex down for her nap, she started singing the ABC's to herself. It sounds something like:
a b c d _ f g _ i _ k _ _ m n O P _ r s _ _ v W _ Y Z. Noooooowwww _ _ my bc's ne na nuh _ sing _ me! YAY! (clap, clap, clap) YAY ME! She sang the song three times. Most of her letters are pretty clear and she carries the tune really well. After each song she clapped for herself at the end and then said, "Yay me!" She says, "Yay me!" a lot when she does something she's proud of. I think it's perfect. I should definitely say that to myself more.

I just cut her hair last week. For the most part she sat there so still for me and was very cooperative. At one point she even looked in the mirror and said, "Mommy cut. Like it!" I told her I thought it looked cute so she looked at herself in the mirror again, smiled and said, "Ya, cute!" Words cannot even describe how this hair cutting experience with her differs from the ones I have with Max...

When you point to the color orange and ask her the color she says, "Max." When you point to the color red and ask her the color she says, "Mine."

She refers to herself as La La. For the longest time we didn't know what she was talking about until one day we asked her what her name was and she very clearly said, "LA LA!" She thinks it's really funny when we call her that.

We went up skiing on Sunday. Max did really well on his little skis. He got some good gliding in and is getting a lot better at getting up by himself when he falls. He INSISTS on using his poles and actually does amazingly well with them.

Hey, You Live on the Planet Earth!

We have been reading about the solar system lately. Max likes to tell people he meets (especially other kids at the park) that they live on planet Earth. He has yet to meet an equally enthusiastic audience...

except Alex...she's always fascinated by everything he says. She copies everything he does these days...sometimes every minute mannerism and word. She's constantly saying, "Me too, me too!" Alex wants to be like Max so badly she doesn't like to admit she's a girl though she'll settle for Tom-Boy-Girl. We've been reading 'Girls Hold Up This World' to her - she really likes all of the pictures...she doesn't realize it yet, but her girl power is strong.

Max has a fish tank in his bedroom now with 2 orange and black fish (they're tropical but I forget what kind). I think he sleeps better knowing he's not entirely alone. I seriously considered getting him a dog, but with our luck it would just end up wanting to sleep with me or Dan as well. Anyway, he loves his fish and he loves helping me clean the tank more than anything. In this area he actually is a help. He can catch the fish in the net so much better than I can...so much better that I don't even want to clean the tank without his help. He's like a little fish whisperer the way he goes about it. He just holds the net in the water and waits...he keeps it very still...and he WAITS until the fish eventually swims in and then he pulls the net up. He talks to them very softly and calmly the whole time. It's the only time you will ever see this child that motionless and quiet.

I have a confession. I enjoy watching other kids throw tantrums in public. It's not that I wish tantrums upon other parents; it's just that it's so reassuring to know that I'm not alone and that those embarrassing fits are not a measure or indication of my abilities. You can avoid certain situations and mitigate circumstances as much as possible, but kids are kids and it's perfectly normal for them to fall apart sometimes. However, with society's general discouragement of meltdowns it's easy to feel like a bad mother when they happen. No matter how well you deal with them, your children inevitably cause a scene and you can instantly feel the judgmental eyes upon you. Usually mine are the ones falling apart, but there has recently been some realignment in the universe and I get to watch other kids fall to pieces while mine hop along happily. To whom ever is responsible: THANK YOU.

I also have an announcement. I have discovered the reason Max likes me to park on the left side of the parking lot at preschool. Brooke's mom always parks on the left side. He really likes Brooke. Apparently Brooke (who turns 5 next week) considers him her boyfriend and according to their teachers, they like to do everything together at school. They especially like to race each other out to the cars when we pick them up...

Things I Have Learned in the Past Week

It is extremely painful to step on marbles while barefoot.

Stepping on a cheap string of plastic Mardi Gras beads with your shoes on will gouge your wood floor 100 times deeper than dropping James (made of heavy metal - no pun intended) in the same spot 10 times.

Pickled zucchini slices are actually very tasty!

If I park on the left side of the parking lot when picking Max up from preschool, there is no problem. If, however, there are no spaces available on the left and I am forced to park on the right; he will lose his shit faster than a baby with diarrhea and I will have to endure a full-on kicking, screaming, hitting, crying you-name-it tantrum for at least half an hour thereafter. I still have no idea why...

Alex can almost count to ten. She does 1,2,3 then skips a few and finishes with 8, 9, and 10. She is also starting to sing along when we sing songs and she does most of the hand movements as well. She really likes 5 Little Ducks and Drip Drop, Drip Drop, See the Falling Rain.

The other day Alex was playing quietly in her room and when I went to check on her I found her singing The Wheels on the Bus to one of her dolls ... she was doing all of the movements with the doll that I do with her ... she was really mad when she saw me and told me NO, Mommy - so I left ... standing outside the doorway I heard her start singing again. Her sweet little voice...

Max has figured out that he can climb up the kitchen cabinets to get at the chocolate stash. I know this because he always slams the doors closed before climbing down.

Alex likes to sneak up on me. It doesn't matter what I'm doing: working on the computer, cooking, folding laundry ... she'll just stand there super quietly and watch. I have to pretend I don't see her until she comes up to me ... she doesn't like it when I find her...

My son loves to replace the toilet paper rolls and he almost always puts the seat back down ... he definitely has potential...

Down on The Man

This past month with Max has been a (deep breath) particularly rough one. He's been sick a lot and has, since his birthday, acquired one hell of a foul mood. I think it's going to be another rough YEAR. At the beginning of year number 4, I was thinking I had survived some of the worst of it for a while and that things were sure to be smooth sailing for a bit...at least, right?! I always have been somewhat of a moron.

There I was decorating the dining room on his birthday with balloons and streamers when he walked in to ask me what I was doing. I told him I was decorating the room to make it special for him while we ate his special sushi dinner and chocolate cake for dessert and he said, "Well, I don't like it, Mommy. You should take it down. I don't like it. I don't want it special. I just want balloons that I can play with (balloons that haven't been tied-so you can blow them up over and over again and watch them fly around the room when you let the air out-of course I had tied them all). You shouldn't have done this, Mommy." He proceeded to throw up his special birthday dinner and cake that night and I chalked his comments up to his not feeling very well.

His crushing comments like that have lingered long beyond his illnesses. Part of it is just his natural temperament. He's extremely sensitive, perceptive, serious and analytical. Some might even say critical. He usually has a strong reaction to anything new. He's his father's son. He is brutally honest. But it's his increasing defiance these days that has me at a complete loss. And by loss I mean a loss for wise, mature, adult-like reactions from me. The child in me knows exactly what to say...but sadly, it's nothing I'd want my child repeating...
For instance...

When you tell him your plan for the day. He says, "Oh, Man. I don't want to do that. That's not my plan, Mommy. I want a different plan. I want to go swimming. (All he wants to do is swim now since he has started swimming underwater.)" We can go swimming after we do those other things...and he says, "Awe, NO WAY! That's not my plan. I don't want to do it later." Max, get dressed!!!!! "Oh, Man. I just want to go swimming.".....

When you tell him to take his shoes off ... or basically anything he doesn't want to do...especially brush his teeth... he says, "No, Mommy. It doesn't care, Mommy! (it doesn't matter)." Oh, it cares, Max. You're climbing all over the couch. Take your shoes off, please. "OH, MAN. I just don't want to do that!"

When you tell him what you're making for dinner he says (even if he has really liked it in the past), "Oh, Man. I just don't want that, Mommy. That's not what I wanted for dinner. I don't like that, Mommy! I'm not eating that."

When you tell him it's time to turn the TV off because he's already watched something like 13 shows (This was when Alex was sick and she was glued to me.) he says, "NO, Mom! Diego is on next!" You've already seen it 3 times today! And then I break into song: Ahhhh, Rescue Pack...Comin' to the Rescue...nothing pisses him off more than having to listen to me sing. I can't blame him. I turn the TV off and offer to play a game. "Oh, MAN!!! I said I just want to watch Go-Diego-Go again! I just want to! I don't like what you just did, Mom! I don't like you turning the TV off like that!"

Then there's yesterday. I was making sugar cookies and he wanted to help eat the cookie dough. I let him have some tastes. When he wanted more and I told him no he lost it. "I hate you, Mommy. Mommy, I hate you. Mommy, I don't like doing things with you. I hate you, Mommy." I told him I was really sorry that he felt that way and I was sorry I couldn't let him eat more cookie dough. He just went on and on. "I just hate you, Mommy." Listening to those words, part of me just ached inside ... for me and for him. The other part tried to remain calmly detached ... trusting the process. (It is actually amazing how detached parents have to be at times to retain the right rational and perspective.) Then I thought ... where did he learn this? We don't ever talk like that?! At any rate, after about 10 minutes he came back into the kitchen and was quite lovely ... as if nothing had happened at all...

Ahhhhh...at least I know my son doesn't have a problem expressing his feelings.

Maxs' Play Plans

Max makes these in preschool. Every morning he chooses a specific area to play in and decides what he wants to do there. Then, on a play plan sheet, he writes his own name, draws a picture of what he plans to do, and draws lines for each word in the sentence that describes his purpose.

I find these fascinating. He's not much of a painter or drawer so I love these little glimpses of his self expression on paper. I especially like seeing his self portraits evolve.

Cheeeeeeeez!

Alex in her Little Mermaid dress and Max in his tiger outfit from Halloween...it's still a favorite.  

No Such Thing as Privacy

Max and Alex decided to help me get dressed this morning.  

We walk into the closet.  Max says, "Mommy, can I pick out your shirt?"  Sure.  "Okay.  Do you want long or short sleeves?"  Long.  "Okay, so how about this one?"  It's too dressy for today since we're just staying home.  "MOM, what is that?"  It's called a bra.  "What is it for?"  Um, I just need it for my breasts.  "What are breasts?"  (He's only known them as boobs.) Alex is turning her head from side to side - giggling each time her hair touches her face.  Breasts are also called boobs, I tell Max.  "WHY?"  It's just another name for them.  "What are boobs for?"  They're for feeding babies after they are born.  Mommy fed you and Alex when you were babies and now I need LOTS and LOTS of support for them so I need to wear this bra.  "OH!"

Alex is now behind me slapping her little hands on my butt.  I grab a shirt from the top shelf and Max gets down to join Alex.  "MOM, your butt is squishy!!!!"  (Apparently, so is my tummy.)   "MOM, your butt is REALLY squishy!!!!"  "YA!"  Alex agrees.  Poke, poke, poke.  I know, Mommy needs to exercise more.  Let's find some pants to cover Mommy's squishy butt.  OKAY.  Thanks for helping me.  "Mommy,  now you need socks.  I'm going to climb up to get them."  (They're up high on the third shelf.)  Max says, "Alex, I'm going to climb up and get the socks for Mommy.  Will you spot me, Alex???"  "YA!", she says excitedly.  She's always thrilled to be included in the missions.  Max starts climbing away.  "Mommy, I'll get these for you, but then you'll have to put them on yourself because I don't want to do that for you."  I understand, Max.  He drops them down to Alex.  "Here you go!  Alex, give those to Mommy." Thanks, guys.

Wordless Wednesday