Things I Have Learned in the Past Week

It is extremely painful to step on marbles while barefoot.

Stepping on a cheap string of plastic Mardi Gras beads with your shoes on will gouge your wood floor 100 times deeper than dropping James (made of heavy metal - no pun intended) in the same spot 10 times.

Pickled zucchini slices are actually very tasty!

If I park on the left side of the parking lot when picking Max up from preschool, there is no problem. If, however, there are no spaces available on the left and I am forced to park on the right; he will lose his shit faster than a baby with diarrhea and I will have to endure a full-on kicking, screaming, hitting, crying you-name-it tantrum for at least half an hour thereafter. I still have no idea why...

Alex can almost count to ten. She does 1,2,3 then skips a few and finishes with 8, 9, and 10. She is also starting to sing along when we sing songs and she does most of the hand movements as well. She really likes 5 Little Ducks and Drip Drop, Drip Drop, See the Falling Rain.

The other day Alex was playing quietly in her room and when I went to check on her I found her singing The Wheels on the Bus to one of her dolls ... she was doing all of the movements with the doll that I do with her ... she was really mad when she saw me and told me NO, Mommy - so I left ... standing outside the doorway I heard her start singing again. Her sweet little voice...

Max has figured out that he can climb up the kitchen cabinets to get at the chocolate stash. I know this because he always slams the doors closed before climbing down.

Alex likes to sneak up on me. It doesn't matter what I'm doing: working on the computer, cooking, folding laundry ... she'll just stand there super quietly and watch. I have to pretend I don't see her until she comes up to me ... she doesn't like it when I find her...

My son loves to replace the toilet paper rolls and he almost always puts the seat back down ... he definitely has potential...

Down on The Man

This past month with Max has been a (deep breath) particularly rough one. He's been sick a lot and has, since his birthday, acquired one hell of a foul mood. I think it's going to be another rough YEAR. At the beginning of year number 4, I was thinking I had survived some of the worst of it for a while and that things were sure to be smooth sailing for a bit...at least, right?! I always have been somewhat of a moron.

There I was decorating the dining room on his birthday with balloons and streamers when he walked in to ask me what I was doing. I told him I was decorating the room to make it special for him while we ate his special sushi dinner and chocolate cake for dessert and he said, "Well, I don't like it, Mommy. You should take it down. I don't like it. I don't want it special. I just want balloons that I can play with (balloons that haven't been tied-so you can blow them up over and over again and watch them fly around the room when you let the air out-of course I had tied them all). You shouldn't have done this, Mommy." He proceeded to throw up his special birthday dinner and cake that night and I chalked his comments up to his not feeling very well.

His crushing comments like that have lingered long beyond his illnesses. Part of it is just his natural temperament. He's extremely sensitive, perceptive, serious and analytical. Some might even say critical. He usually has a strong reaction to anything new. He's his father's son. He is brutally honest. But it's his increasing defiance these days that has me at a complete loss. And by loss I mean a loss for wise, mature, adult-like reactions from me. The child in me knows exactly what to say...but sadly, it's nothing I'd want my child repeating...
For instance...

When you tell him your plan for the day. He says, "Oh, Man. I don't want to do that. That's not my plan, Mommy. I want a different plan. I want to go swimming. (All he wants to do is swim now since he has started swimming underwater.)" We can go swimming after we do those other things...and he says, "Awe, NO WAY! That's not my plan. I don't want to do it later." Max, get dressed!!!!! "Oh, Man. I just want to go swimming.".....

When you tell him to take his shoes off ... or basically anything he doesn't want to do...especially brush his teeth... he says, "No, Mommy. It doesn't care, Mommy! (it doesn't matter)." Oh, it cares, Max. You're climbing all over the couch. Take your shoes off, please. "OH, MAN. I just don't want to do that!"

When you tell him what you're making for dinner he says (even if he has really liked it in the past), "Oh, Man. I just don't want that, Mommy. That's not what I wanted for dinner. I don't like that, Mommy! I'm not eating that."

When you tell him it's time to turn the TV off because he's already watched something like 13 shows (This was when Alex was sick and she was glued to me.) he says, "NO, Mom! Diego is on next!" You've already seen it 3 times today! And then I break into song: Ahhhh, Rescue Pack...Comin' to the Rescue...nothing pisses him off more than having to listen to me sing. I can't blame him. I turn the TV off and offer to play a game. "Oh, MAN!!! I said I just want to watch Go-Diego-Go again! I just want to! I don't like what you just did, Mom! I don't like you turning the TV off like that!"

Then there's yesterday. I was making sugar cookies and he wanted to help eat the cookie dough. I let him have some tastes. When he wanted more and I told him no he lost it. "I hate you, Mommy. Mommy, I hate you. Mommy, I don't like doing things with you. I hate you, Mommy." I told him I was really sorry that he felt that way and I was sorry I couldn't let him eat more cookie dough. He just went on and on. "I just hate you, Mommy." Listening to those words, part of me just ached inside ... for me and for him. The other part tried to remain calmly detached ... trusting the process. (It is actually amazing how detached parents have to be at times to retain the right rational and perspective.) Then I thought ... where did he learn this? We don't ever talk like that?! At any rate, after about 10 minutes he came back into the kitchen and was quite lovely ... as if nothing had happened at all...

Ahhhhh...at least I know my son doesn't have a problem expressing his feelings.

Maxs' Play Plans

Max makes these in preschool. Every morning he chooses a specific area to play in and decides what he wants to do there. Then, on a play plan sheet, he writes his own name, draws a picture of what he plans to do, and draws lines for each word in the sentence that describes his purpose.

I find these fascinating. He's not much of a painter or drawer so I love these little glimpses of his self expression on paper. I especially like seeing his self portraits evolve.

Cheeeeeeeez!

Alex in her Little Mermaid dress and Max in his tiger outfit from Halloween...it's still a favorite.  

No Such Thing as Privacy

Max and Alex decided to help me get dressed this morning.  

We walk into the closet.  Max says, "Mommy, can I pick out your shirt?"  Sure.  "Okay.  Do you want long or short sleeves?"  Long.  "Okay, so how about this one?"  It's too dressy for today since we're just staying home.  "MOM, what is that?"  It's called a bra.  "What is it for?"  Um, I just need it for my breasts.  "What are breasts?"  (He's only known them as boobs.) Alex is turning her head from side to side - giggling each time her hair touches her face.  Breasts are also called boobs, I tell Max.  "WHY?"  It's just another name for them.  "What are boobs for?"  They're for feeding babies after they are born.  Mommy fed you and Alex when you were babies and now I need LOTS and LOTS of support for them so I need to wear this bra.  "OH!"

Alex is now behind me slapping her little hands on my butt.  I grab a shirt from the top shelf and Max gets down to join Alex.  "MOM, your butt is squishy!!!!"  (Apparently, so is my tummy.)   "MOM, your butt is REALLY squishy!!!!"  "YA!"  Alex agrees.  Poke, poke, poke.  I know, Mommy needs to exercise more.  Let's find some pants to cover Mommy's squishy butt.  OKAY.  Thanks for helping me.  "Mommy,  now you need socks.  I'm going to climb up to get them."  (They're up high on the third shelf.)  Max says, "Alex, I'm going to climb up and get the socks for Mommy.  Will you spot me, Alex???"  "YA!", she says excitedly.  She's always thrilled to be included in the missions.  Max starts climbing away.  "Mommy, I'll get these for you, but then you'll have to put them on yourself because I don't want to do that for you."  I understand, Max.  He drops them down to Alex.  "Here you go!  Alex, give those to Mommy." Thanks, guys.