Bedtime

Me: Goodnight, Max. I love you so much.

Max: I love you so much too, Mommy. I hope you don't ever die. (holding back tears)

Me: Me too. I will try my very best to stay healthy and safe. (Honestly, I don't know what to say to that. I mean, I can't promise him that I won't...)
You know you're the most special boy in the whole world to me. (Usually then he just keeps whispering that last sentence to himself over and over in pieces: the WHOLE world, the whole world, most special boy...)

Tonight he said: Mommy, you're my favorite girl. You're my favorite Mommy.
*deep, sweet, sigh*

Me: I had lots of fun swimming with you today. You did such a great job!

Max: Ya, I did actually.

Me: Ya. You were almost doing summersaults under water. That was so cool.

Max: Ya. It was.

Me: Goodnight, sweetheart.

Max: Goodnight.

And he settled into my arm and fell asleep. He still falls asleep the same way he used to as a baby... nestled in and under my right arm.

I have to admit, there are nights I get tired of the bedtime routine. With baths and teeth brushing and reading it takes a good hour and a half if not two hours every night. But I always love being there with him when his little body relaxes and his breathing gets heavy and he falls gently into sleep. It's sacred to me.

Alex likes to wrap up in her special blanket. She calls it her B. Lately, after I turn the lights out, she likes to turn her 'turtle' on. (It has different colored lights inside it and the shell part has all of these holes shaped like stars so that the entire room becomes filled with all of these bright little stars. She likes to go through the different colors: for orange she says Max, blue is always Daddy, and green is her color when I lye beside her. Then she tries to catch all of the stars. After that, she usually talks to her stuffed-animal posse who keep her company throughout the night.

(I had no idea how many stuffed animals there were EVERYWHERE until I had Alex. She LOVES them-Max could give a rat's ass about 'em-but she always finds them in every store we go to and she falls instantly in love. Last week I had to get a leak fixed in one of the car tires so I went to Big-O. They had a couple of those Little-O thingawhatevers all over the place. She was carrying three within seconds saying, "have them, Mommy." Needless to say we came home with one. I'd like to say it's because they were free, but I'm known to lay down a couple of bucks for those suckers just to avoid the scene. Hence the ever-growing-posse.)

She'll reach for her favorite-of-the-day and tuck it under and turn away from me and fall fast asleep. She used to like to fall asleep on my chest, but she's done with that. She's never been much of a snuggler. Sometimes she'll just cover herself and said favorite-animal-of-the-day entirely in her blanket and fall asleep... She sounds like an angel.