Dear Alex,
The other day we went to Petsmart to get you a fish. Since Max has a fish in his room, you have recently insisted that you should have your own fish in your room. Fair enough.
When we got to Petsmart and walked in, you immediately found and gravitated to the cats up for adoption. We went into the room so that you could say Hello to all of them and you talked very sweetly to them and sang to them in your super high, sing-songie voice. I have to say, some of the cats really dug that! And then you said very matter-of-factly, "I don't want a fish anymore! I want a cat!" To which the voice in my head replied in one of those super loud, super distorted, super drawn out OMFG ways, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
You see, I hate cats. Grandma Tootie always had a lot of cats in the house while I was growing up and let's just say that my experience with them was a less than positive one. I can pretty much sum it up in five words: CATS PISS ON YOUR THINGS! And also: they're weird and moody and they jump up on everything and they do exactly the opposite of what you want them to and they're hairy and gross and I always feel like I have a hair ball in my mouth when I'm around them and they constantly rub up against you in this I'm gonna-annoy-the-shit-out-of-you-until-you-do-exactly-what-I-want manner and then when you do happen to pet them or pay attention to them they dig their claws into you and you're supposed to be all -Oh, look at that he's making muffins - and even though he's destroying your favorite shirt you're supposed to sit there at love it! Cats suck.
However. I see you with animals, I see how wonderful you are with them, I see how happy they make you, and I just want you to know I love you so much - so much - that standing there in that cat room in Petsmart - I seriously considered getting you a cat. If Daddy hadn't been there, I probably would have. You were so unbelievably beautiful with them... Daddy is going out of town this weekend and, I don't know, if you mention you want a cat one more time, he's going to come home and see Snuffles sitting on the counter.
In case you are ever unsure... That's how much I love you!
Mommy
2 comments:
You have to print out this blog for Max and Alex on their graduations or weddings or 18th birthdays or I don't know, a random Tuesday in 2024. So awesome.
This is absolutely hilarious!! I sat here, at my desk this morning, laughing out loud. I could see it all so clearly and know that I would have a dog for love of my daughter (but I like dogs too)). Alex will probably be a cat person – drawn to the fabulous mystique of the animal and it character… lucky you!! (You could always get dog cats like mine.. you know the big cats that kind of take over the bed, the pillows, the counters…)
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