The other day Max happens upon the disposable cameras in the grocery store.
"I think we still have some at home." (Thanks, Tootie.)
We get home and I am immediately reminded that he needs a camera.
Once it's in his hands, he sets off on his photographic adventure...wildly winding and clicking with delight.
The number of remaining shots dwindles rapidly.
Half-headed bodies.
Unsuspecting trains.
Toes.
Pillows.
Hands.
Eyes.
A bowl of cereal.
and undoubtedly,
My ass - as I am bent over in agony after stubbing my toe.
"Oh, I've got to take a picture of Mommy!"...and then..."Ha! That's a good one!"
Nothing is spared.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
B.O.B. Testimonial
The B.O.B. is a Sport Utility Stroller...and it ROCKS! We have two in fact. I bought a single for Max when he could finally sit up and ride. We had lots of great strolls and, eventually, lots of great runs. Then when Alex was born, I bought a double. I got it onsale, online and the only color available was this extremely bright yellow. (It can't be that bright I thought...then, Who Cares?...then, Holy Crap!) In terms of getting the much sought after workout, there is never a need to jog with the double stroller. Once it's full of kids-snacks-water- all of the extra things you just might need- and you hit a slight head wind, the whole thing puffs up as if about to set sail and provides you with maximum resistance for the duration. As captain of your large, extremely bright yellow ship, maneuvering is a breeze (you just have to constantly push very hard) - the beverage and snack service you must provide, however, is not.
We had lots of great strolls with the 'yellow Bob' and then Max decided he really didn't want to sit anymore. Not even with a lollipop or two...or three. But he's not really a great walker...at least not if you want to cover a mile in less than an hour. So we decided a bike might be the answer...and it has been...sort of...
He's really figuring things out on his new wheels and can actually ride for a while at a pretty good clip if he's into it. Hell, he's even got skills already that I've never had. (No snorting.) Anyway, I decided to go for a run last week so we loaded up the single B.O.B. for Alex and the bike for Max and went to a new trail. It's near our house and is usually pretty empty. I also thought something that doesn't have a river with Class IV rapids running along side it would actually make the journey a little less stressful....it doesn't have a park anywhere near it, but I didn't really think that would be a problem...we were going for a run and a bike ride. Right?!
So, we're off. Running. Stopping. Running. Stopping. Mostly running though. There was a lady ahead of us. She really liked Max and Max really liked talking to her...the whole show kept us moving forward quite nicely. I actually started to breathe heavy and sweat! Then we came to the end of the trail and the lady left and we were about to turn around when -Ssssscccrrrrrreeeeeeecccchhhhhh!!!!!- Max said, "Where's the park?" I said, "There is no park on this trail. We have to turn around and go back to the car. We were just out to run and ride your bike, remember?"
"But I want to play at the park."
"Then ride back with me and we'll go to a park."
"But I can't, I'm too tired."
"Well, if you're too tired to ride back then you're too tired to go to a park." This really pissed him off and my rationalization completely backfired. He wasn't moving. Big surprise.
"I don't want to ride anymore. Hold me."
"I can't, Max, I have to push Alex." Thinking to self: You're so screwed! (Alex's window of contentment was narrowing.)
We went back and forth for a while, but he stood firm. I looked at my options and eyed the B.O.B. *Ding.Ding.Ding.* The B.O.B.!!!!
"Alright, Max. You sit on the foot rest and put your feet on the wheel guard. Watch out for the wheel and watch out for Alex's legs. I'll sling your bike over the handle bar....and...Yay! It works!!! I could probably fit another child somewhere on here!" I can barely steer, but it moves forward!!!! So, we're off! Max is thrilled to have his new vantage point and to have won in general. Alex is thrilled to have Max's helmet to poke at. I'm thrilled to not be carrying anyone! We now resemble a wrecked ship slowly making it's way back to port, but moving nonetheless. Max even feels compelled to belt out the ABC's and Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star for our enjoyment.
We even managed to make it back before I lost my sense of humor. Thanks B.O.B.!
We had lots of great strolls with the 'yellow Bob' and then Max decided he really didn't want to sit anymore. Not even with a lollipop or two...or three. But he's not really a great walker...at least not if you want to cover a mile in less than an hour. So we decided a bike might be the answer...and it has been...sort of...
He's really figuring things out on his new wheels and can actually ride for a while at a pretty good clip if he's into it. Hell, he's even got skills already that I've never had. (No snorting.) Anyway, I decided to go for a run last week so we loaded up the single B.O.B. for Alex and the bike for Max and went to a new trail. It's near our house and is usually pretty empty. I also thought something that doesn't have a river with Class IV rapids running along side it would actually make the journey a little less stressful....it doesn't have a park anywhere near it, but I didn't really think that would be a problem...we were going for a run and a bike ride. Right?!
So, we're off. Running. Stopping. Running. Stopping. Mostly running though. There was a lady ahead of us. She really liked Max and Max really liked talking to her...the whole show kept us moving forward quite nicely. I actually started to breathe heavy and sweat! Then we came to the end of the trail and the lady left and we were about to turn around when -Ssssscccrrrrrreeeeeeecccchhhhhh!!!!!- Max said, "Where's the park?" I said, "There is no park on this trail. We have to turn around and go back to the car. We were just out to run and ride your bike, remember?"
"But I want to play at the park."
"Then ride back with me and we'll go to a park."
"But I can't, I'm too tired."
"Well, if you're too tired to ride back then you're too tired to go to a park." This really pissed him off and my rationalization completely backfired. He wasn't moving. Big surprise.
"I don't want to ride anymore. Hold me."
"I can't, Max, I have to push Alex." Thinking to self: You're so screwed! (Alex's window of contentment was narrowing.)
We went back and forth for a while, but he stood firm. I looked at my options and eyed the B.O.B. *Ding.Ding.Ding.* The B.O.B.!!!!
"Alright, Max. You sit on the foot rest and put your feet on the wheel guard. Watch out for the wheel and watch out for Alex's legs. I'll sling your bike over the handle bar....and...Yay! It works!!! I could probably fit another child somewhere on here!" I can barely steer, but it moves forward!!!! So, we're off! Max is thrilled to have his new vantage point and to have won in general. Alex is thrilled to have Max's helmet to poke at. I'm thrilled to not be carrying anyone! We now resemble a wrecked ship slowly making it's way back to port, but moving nonetheless. Max even feels compelled to belt out the ABC's and Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star for our enjoyment.
We even managed to make it back before I lost my sense of humor. Thanks B.O.B.!
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Things I Miss Now That I Have Kids
Well, hmmm, let's see...there are the obvious luxuries like sleep, reading a book, taking a shower in peace, going out to fine dining establishments, my MIND; but frankly I really miss being able to just leave the house in a normal amount of time. Granted, it's getting easier all of the time, HA HA HA, but it still takes (on good days) (and this is no joke) a couple of hours. You know that frantic rush to get out the door before a trip because you're trying to remember everything. It's like taking your show on the road, EVERYDAY! And for some reason getting ready for a playdate is the worst.
First, let me just say that I am not a fan of playdates. From my experience, the kids spend most of the time either fighting over toys, having tantrums, or worse, just playing by themselves. For the entire duration of the playdate (such a stupid word) there are always issues to be dealt with; such that any adult conversation consists of perhaps a couple of sentences (stretched over a couple of hours). As isolating as staying at home with your kids can be, sometimes it feels a bit like torture. ANYWAYS, I am lucky enough to have a few women who, for some reason, still like to get together with us everyweek and, for some reason, I feel like it's important that I make the effort. Basically though, I don't have a good attitude about it and I think it's reflected in the kids behavior and, ultimately, the ETD.
Like today, for instance, I talked with other playdate Mommy at 8:30 this morning and we made plans to meet at the park at our usual time, 10:00. So I hung up and started to clean the kitchen and pack a lunch. Max and Alex found the bag full of toys earmarked for charity. Max was busy spreading them out across the house and Alex was just thrilled with the paper sack. All of the sudden it was 9:30. Sh*t! We're still in our pajamas. I run the recycling out and on the way back in, decide to wipe down the mudd room. I haven't wiped in down in over a month, but all of the sudden, when we're already running late, it seems extremely important. In the middle of said task I notice mice droppings on the kids shelf. This time, f***! So, I'm checking things out and notice Max's rain coat (just above the shelf) has Fruit Loops in the pockets from feeding the horses with Tootie over Christmas. In one of the pockets I think I see a mouse. I freak out a bit and manage to just grab the coat and carry it outside. Now it's 9:45. I summon everyone upstairs to get dressed. It goes suprisingly well. Then I go to get ready and all hell breaks loose. Alex starts screaming because Max has decided to just lay on her. I intervene. Max starts screaming because Alex is tapping him on the head with the little, plastic alligator. I intervene and tell him that she thinks he must like it since he's always doing that to her. He doesn't think it's funny so he slams the door to his room and yells at Alex to stay out. She cries and cries. I ask him to let her in. "I'm ALMOST ready to go." "Okay, OKAY," he says. "But, Alex, no head tapping!" She's already moved on to bigger and better things...the night light and the light socket. I bring her into the bathroom with me and let her dismantle my cupboards. A few minutes later there are nail polish bottles, cotton balls, and those dental floss picks everywhere, but it has been quiet and I am fit to leave the house. It's past 10 now so I leave a message to say I'm going to be very late. I load them up in the car with their juices and snacks, grab the lunch, water, sunscreen, and (just as I'm in the car) dammit, the sand toys. Since we're sooooo late by now I decide to check the coat to see if the mouse has left the pocket. Upon further inspection I see that it's only a big, smooth, grey rock. By 10:30, I pull out of the driveway feeling like a super lame playdate Mom and a major dumbass. As the universe would have it, we all ended up at the park at the same time...
First, let me just say that I am not a fan of playdates. From my experience, the kids spend most of the time either fighting over toys, having tantrums, or worse, just playing by themselves. For the entire duration of the playdate (such a stupid word) there are always issues to be dealt with; such that any adult conversation consists of perhaps a couple of sentences (stretched over a couple of hours). As isolating as staying at home with your kids can be, sometimes it feels a bit like torture. ANYWAYS, I am lucky enough to have a few women who, for some reason, still like to get together with us everyweek and, for some reason, I feel like it's important that I make the effort. Basically though, I don't have a good attitude about it and I think it's reflected in the kids behavior and, ultimately, the ETD.
Like today, for instance, I talked with other playdate Mommy at 8:30 this morning and we made plans to meet at the park at our usual time, 10:00. So I hung up and started to clean the kitchen and pack a lunch. Max and Alex found the bag full of toys earmarked for charity. Max was busy spreading them out across the house and Alex was just thrilled with the paper sack. All of the sudden it was 9:30. Sh*t! We're still in our pajamas. I run the recycling out and on the way back in, decide to wipe down the mudd room. I haven't wiped in down in over a month, but all of the sudden, when we're already running late, it seems extremely important. In the middle of said task I notice mice droppings on the kids shelf. This time, f***! So, I'm checking things out and notice Max's rain coat (just above the shelf) has Fruit Loops in the pockets from feeding the horses with Tootie over Christmas. In one of the pockets I think I see a mouse. I freak out a bit and manage to just grab the coat and carry it outside. Now it's 9:45. I summon everyone upstairs to get dressed. It goes suprisingly well. Then I go to get ready and all hell breaks loose. Alex starts screaming because Max has decided to just lay on her. I intervene. Max starts screaming because Alex is tapping him on the head with the little, plastic alligator. I intervene and tell him that she thinks he must like it since he's always doing that to her. He doesn't think it's funny so he slams the door to his room and yells at Alex to stay out. She cries and cries. I ask him to let her in. "I'm ALMOST ready to go." "Okay, OKAY," he says. "But, Alex, no head tapping!" She's already moved on to bigger and better things...the night light and the light socket. I bring her into the bathroom with me and let her dismantle my cupboards. A few minutes later there are nail polish bottles, cotton balls, and those dental floss picks everywhere, but it has been quiet and I am fit to leave the house. It's past 10 now so I leave a message to say I'm going to be very late. I load them up in the car with their juices and snacks, grab the lunch, water, sunscreen, and (just as I'm in the car) dammit, the sand toys. Since we're sooooo late by now I decide to check the coat to see if the mouse has left the pocket. Upon further inspection I see that it's only a big, smooth, grey rock. By 10:30, I pull out of the driveway feeling like a super lame playdate Mom and a major dumbass. As the universe would have it, we all ended up at the park at the same time...
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Hi! My name's Alex. I enjoy hot dogs with lots and lots of ketchup, chocolate (as you can see), avacados, sweetened whipped cream, blueberries, and pina colada flavored lollipops.
My favorite activities are swinging - very high, taking a bath so that I can lay on my tummy and blow bubbles all night long, sitting on the red tricycle now that Max has moved on, and basically trying anything that Max does.
My favorite books are ...wow, it's so hard to pick just one...usually anything by Margaret Wise Brown, but at the moment I'm quite keen on those touchy/interactive books (I can sit and read those by myself while my Mom's doing the dishes or down on her hands and knees wiping up the juice that sprays everywhere when I fling my sippy cup and whatever food I don't feel like eating...I really like watching stuff splatter on the floor...it seems to really piss Mom off though.)
My biggest pet peeve has got to be Mom trying to comb out my nappy hair in the morning...or when Max takes my toys away from me...or getting my diaper changed...total toss up. I scream and scream...nothin!
I'm not quite sure where I see myself a year from now...but hopefully my pants will freakin' finally fit.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Speedy Wheels, sort of...
After several weeks of begging for a new bike (he realized he was in serious need of an upgrade after one of our trike-riding playdates) and sleeping through the entire night ALONE...FINALLY; Max got his first bike on Sunday! It's fully loaded: tassles, waterbottle, bell, covered chain and training wheels...and...it's ORANGE. Dan and I had been preparing him the night before for a possibility that there might not be an orange bicycle at the store. Of course, we get to the store and the only 12 inch bike they have is orange with a big tiger on it! ROAR! Max then says to Dan, "See, Dad, I TOLD YOU they would have an orange one, Dad. I told you. You were wrong!" Indeed and Halliluyah! Max proceeded to get on the bike and ride it around and around and around the store. He only got off for a brief moment while the mechanics checked it out and put his bell on, then it was back on! He wanted to ride home and explaining to him that we lived too far away (about 20 miles) was not easy.
The first thing he says now when he wakes up is, "I want to ride my bike." It's ALL he wants to do... so off we go to the bike path along Clear Creek. So far, it hasn't quite been the experience I had envisioned in my mind...me running and pushing Alex in the jogger while Max rides beside me. I know, what a shock, eh! It's more akin to a walking wreck waiting to happen....a very slow one at that...yet another shock!!!! Max pedals and pedals...then brakes...pedals and pedals...then brakes...pedals some more and then veers across the path..."Stay to the right, Max!, here comes a biker."...he comes to a complete stop in the middle...the bikers ring their bells...he rings his back..."Hey, nice bell!"...they pass..."Come ride next to me, Max!"..."Okay, OKAY!"...he finally moves back to me and starts the pedal brake process again....complete stop again....water brake...okay, here we go...pedal pedal pedal...across the path again..."Stay to the right, please!"...he comes back...brake..."Let's go, Max."... "I just want to check my bell."...bell checked...pedal pedal pedal...he's finally got a groove....now some bikers are heading towards us...he comes to a complete stop again so that he can ring his bell..."Nice bike, there!"..."Thanks, do you see my bell?"..."Alright, Max, let's keep moving."...pedal pedal pedal...brake...and so on and so on and so on... When he's not heading towards the raging river or bumping into trees, it's actually lots of fun. Maybe in a couple of months and a thousand more pleas to "Stay to the right!" my vision will be realized...
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The Critters Amongst Us
Last Tuesday night, I was down in the basement getting the bed ready for Tootie's visit when I heard this scratchy - squeaky noise. It was a baby rabbit who had fallen down our window well and he was trying to get in...auwww...! I called for Dan to help get him out and he and Max came down. Max was very excited. I grabbed a towel and Dan opened the window and tried to catch him. He wasn't able to...which was apparently my fault. Once I saw how fast and jumpy that cute, furry thing was I started screaming like this freaked out sissy and couldn't seem to stop. So the bunny jumped inside....Max got knocked over pretty hard in Dan's mad lunge to grab Foo-Foo. He wasn't so excited anymore. I screamed even louder...I'm not sure why. Dan yelled at me to 'man up' so I could help block...but the mere thought of the bunny springing towards me gave me the creeps...you would have thought gigantic cockroaches were flying about. Somehow amidst the chaos, we lucked out and Foo-Foo quickly ended up in the corner of a closet and Dan was able to get him. We set him free out front and he happily hopped away. I, however, will never live my embarrassing display down. ---
For three mornings in a row now, we've had a horny woodpecker pecking on the top of our metal roof vent. The rattling fills the entire house. He usually starts at 5:30 on the dot. It takes someone going out and throwing the soft, squishy Gertie ball up at him before he will fly away. This morning was my turn again. I get the job done, but it takes multiple attempts. At first, Dan was hell bent on getting a BB gun until he witnessed my aim, or lack thereof, with the ball. ---
Then there are the wasps that love the new playset and the little water fountain I built out on the patio. I hate wasps.
This is a picture of the fountain before the kids dismantled it to play with the rocks, a very large bird pooped in it (probably said woodpecker), and the wasps began hovering...waiting for a drink. I like the fountain though...it sounds nice and it never looks the same...there is a Zen element in the constant cleaning and rearranging of the stones.
For three mornings in a row now, we've had a horny woodpecker pecking on the top of our metal roof vent. The rattling fills the entire house. He usually starts at 5:30 on the dot. It takes someone going out and throwing the soft, squishy Gertie ball up at him before he will fly away. This morning was my turn again. I get the job done, but it takes multiple attempts. At first, Dan was hell bent on getting a BB gun until he witnessed my aim, or lack thereof, with the ball. ---
Then there are the wasps that love the new playset and the little water fountain I built out on the patio. I hate wasps.
This is a picture of the fountain before the kids dismantled it to play with the rocks, a very large bird pooped in it (probably said woodpecker), and the wasps began hovering...waiting for a drink. I like the fountain though...it sounds nice and it never looks the same...there is a Zen element in the constant cleaning and rearranging of the stones.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Take Some Medicine and Suck It Up
Mother's Day was the same day as our 5th Anniversary. It was a snot filled, crabby sick day for pretty much everyone. But, hey, I'll take snot over vomit anyday. Max did wish me a Happy Mother's Day... about 50 times. "Hi, MOMMY-MOM, Happy Mother's Day!" "Thanks, Max!" Big kiss and hug. "Happy Mother's Day!" "Thank YOU." "Happy Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day!" "Thank You, Max." "MOMMMMM....(what)....Happy Mother's Day! It's your Happy Mother's Day!!!" "YEP." "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy! Happy Happy Mother's Day!" "Okay, Max. Thank you." A couple of minutes go by...then he starts it up all over again. In my crabby, sickly, exhausted state I'm thinking...not one flower?...no breakfast?...where is your father?...please, be quiet. And then he looks at me with one eye open and one closed (he has recently learned he can do this and he knows it makes me laugh...it's very cool)...his face is all contorted. "Look, Mommy, I have ONE eye OPEN and ONE CLOSED...but I can't switch (he is trying) because it's very hard and I have to eat a lot more so that I can get bigger and THEN I can do it!!!! Mommy, what day is it? - It's Mother's Day. - Oh. No, what DAY is it? - It's Sunday. - YES! That's right! It IS SUNDAY! We can go swimming now." 
We didn't go swimming-or do much of anything besides shop for plants. I bought myself a beautiful hanging pot full of Lobelia and felt much better. Dan bought some tomato plants for the garden and I think that made him feel better too. Alex and Max had a great time chasing each other through the tunnels under the tables. 
Alex also said her first clear NO. She was standing on the top step of her chair... which she knows she's not allowed to do...just smiling and giggling and saying NO to herself. She's a defiant little muchkin. She just smiles and laughs at you when you tell her not to do something...then she does it anyway. It makes part of me so proud!
We didn't go swimming-or do much of anything besides shop for plants. I bought myself a beautiful hanging pot full of Lobelia and felt much better. Dan bought some tomato plants for the garden and I think that made him feel better too. Alex and Max had a great time chasing each other through the tunnels under the tables. 
Alex also said her first clear NO. She was standing on the top step of her chair... which she knows she's not allowed to do...just smiling and giggling and saying NO to herself. She's a defiant little muchkin. She just smiles and laughs at you when you tell her not to do something...then she does it anyway. It makes part of me so proud!
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