Things I Miss Now That I Have Kids

Well, hmmm, let's see...there are the obvious luxuries like sleep, reading a book, taking a shower in peace, going out to fine dining establishments, my MIND; but frankly I really miss being able to just leave the house in a normal amount of time. Granted, it's getting easier all of the time, HA HA HA, but it still takes (on good days) (and this is no joke) a couple of hours. You know that frantic rush to get out the door before a trip because you're trying to remember everything. It's like taking your show on the road, EVERYDAY! And for some reason getting ready for a playdate is the worst.

First, let me just say that I am not a fan of playdates. From my experience, the kids spend most of the time either fighting over toys, having tantrums, or worse, just playing by themselves. For the entire duration of the playdate (such a stupid word) there are always issues to be dealt with; such that any adult conversation consists of perhaps a couple of sentences (stretched over a couple of hours). As isolating as staying at home with your kids can be, sometimes it feels a bit like torture. ANYWAYS, I am lucky enough to have a few women who, for some reason, still like to get together with us everyweek and, for some reason, I feel like it's important that I make the effort. Basically though, I don't have a good attitude about it and I think it's reflected in the kids behavior and, ultimately, the ETD.

Like today, for instance, I talked with other playdate Mommy at 8:30 this morning and we made plans to meet at the park at our usual time, 10:00. So I hung up and started to clean the kitchen and pack a lunch. Max and Alex found the bag full of toys earmarked for charity. Max was busy spreading them out across the house and Alex was just thrilled with the paper sack. All of the sudden it was 9:30. Sh*t! We're still in our pajamas. I run the recycling out and on the way back in, decide to wipe down the mudd room. I haven't wiped in down in over a month, but all of the sudden, when we're already running late, it seems extremely important. In the middle of said task I notice mice droppings on the kids shelf. This time, f***! So, I'm checking things out and notice Max's rain coat (just above the shelf) has Fruit Loops in the pockets from feeding the horses with Tootie over Christmas. In one of the pockets I think I see a mouse. I freak out a bit and manage to just grab the coat and carry it outside. Now it's 9:45. I summon everyone upstairs to get dressed. It goes suprisingly well. Then I go to get ready and all hell breaks loose. Alex starts screaming because Max has decided to just lay on her. I intervene. Max starts screaming because Alex is tapping him on the head with the little, plastic alligator. I intervene and tell him that she thinks he must like it since he's always doing that to her. He doesn't think it's funny so he slams the door to his room and yells at Alex to stay out. She cries and cries. I ask him to let her in. "I'm ALMOST ready to go." "Okay, OKAY," he says. "But, Alex, no head tapping!" She's already moved on to bigger and better things...the night light and the light socket. I bring her into the bathroom with me and let her dismantle my cupboards. A few minutes later there are nail polish bottles, cotton balls, and those dental floss picks everywhere, but it has been quiet and I am fit to leave the house. It's past 10 now so I leave a message to say I'm going to be very late. I load them up in the car with their juices and snacks, grab the lunch, water, sunscreen, and (just as I'm in the car) dammit, the sand toys. Since we're sooooo late by now I decide to check the coat to see if the mouse has left the pocket. Upon further inspection I see that it's only a big, smooth, grey rock. By 10:30, I pull out of the driveway feeling like a super lame playdate Mom and a major dumbass. As the universe would have it, we all ended up at the park at the same time...