Today is one of those days I wish I could buy some patience. Dan is out of town. Alex has been in the. foulest. mood. all. day! By foulest mood I mean that she screams or cries at me for EVERY LITTLE THING! And, apparently, nothing is right in her world today. This is just a small sampling:
"Max is talking do me! Don't say that to me! Max, don't even look at me! That piece of pancake is in the syrup! I didn't want water! I'm not hungry! I'm hungry! I don't want to wear this (everything in her dresser)! No shoes! NO, you can't comb my hair (even though it looks like a major rat's nest)! Where is my dog? I can't find my dog! (I have to mobilize Max to help me look for the dog - desperate measure - we found it, thank god.) Oh, no, there is a feather on my blanket! Get that bug off the slide! I can't go down with that bug on the slide! (It was so small, it took me five minutes to even find it) NO, I don't want to take a nap! I'm not tired! (she did sleep, but of course, woke up crying) Hold me (wailing at the shower door-no place is sacred)! GO AWAY! Hold me! NOW! Now, go away!"
I am sooooo tired.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Skiing Last Saturday
Before I took this shot, it was just Max, Alex, and I and Dan was off taking his turn to skate. Max skied really well around the large loop near the nordic center (he was really pushing off and gliding- I am constantly amazed at how quickly he picks things up) and then we stopped at this little hill so he could practice going downhill. Of course he had no problem getting up the hill, but the first run down was a bit of a disaster - totally leaning back with the poles circling - and then the inevitable crash. So I implored him (he tends to tune me out -just the beginning I'm sure-) to hold his poles out in front of him and bend his knees... and Voila! ... he looked like a little ski racer.
Alex was happy rolling around on the hill eating the snow and somehow managed to avoid getting smashed by Max careening down toward her.
I should note also that Max quickly became bored with the groomed hill and soon ventured off into the snowy, tree-filled area right next to it to see what that would be like... at which point I thought to myself, what the fuck am I doing - putting this child on skis and teaching him to go downhill?! And then I thought... he's going to have to wear a helmet... even for cross-country skiing... this child is going to have to wear a helmet.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Dear Alex.
Dear Alex,
The other day we went to Petsmart to get you a fish. Since Max has a fish in his room, you have recently insisted that you should have your own fish in your room. Fair enough.
When we got to Petsmart and walked in, you immediately found and gravitated to the cats up for adoption. We went into the room so that you could say Hello to all of them and you talked very sweetly to them and sang to them in your super high, sing-songie voice. I have to say, some of the cats really dug that! And then you said very matter-of-factly, "I don't want a fish anymore! I want a cat!" To which the voice in my head replied in one of those super loud, super distorted, super drawn out OMFG ways, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
You see, I hate cats. Grandma Tootie always had a lot of cats in the house while I was growing up and let's just say that my experience with them was a less than positive one. I can pretty much sum it up in five words: CATS PISS ON YOUR THINGS! And also: they're weird and moody and they jump up on everything and they do exactly the opposite of what you want them to and they're hairy and gross and I always feel like I have a hair ball in my mouth when I'm around them and they constantly rub up against you in this I'm gonna-annoy-the-shit-out-of-you-until-you-do-exactly-what-I-want manner and then when you do happen to pet them or pay attention to them they dig their claws into you and you're supposed to be all -Oh, look at that he's making muffins - and even though he's destroying your favorite shirt you're supposed to sit there at love it! Cats suck.
However. I see you with animals, I see how wonderful you are with them, I see how happy they make you, and I just want you to know I love you so much - so much - that standing there in that cat room in Petsmart - I seriously considered getting you a cat. If Daddy hadn't been there, I probably would have. You were so unbelievably beautiful with them... Daddy is going out of town this weekend and, I don't know, if you mention you want a cat one more time, he's going to come home and see Snuffles sitting on the counter.
In case you are ever unsure... That's how much I love you!
Mommy
The other day we went to Petsmart to get you a fish. Since Max has a fish in his room, you have recently insisted that you should have your own fish in your room. Fair enough.
When we got to Petsmart and walked in, you immediately found and gravitated to the cats up for adoption. We went into the room so that you could say Hello to all of them and you talked very sweetly to them and sang to them in your super high, sing-songie voice. I have to say, some of the cats really dug that! And then you said very matter-of-factly, "I don't want a fish anymore! I want a cat!" To which the voice in my head replied in one of those super loud, super distorted, super drawn out OMFG ways, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
You see, I hate cats. Grandma Tootie always had a lot of cats in the house while I was growing up and let's just say that my experience with them was a less than positive one. I can pretty much sum it up in five words: CATS PISS ON YOUR THINGS! And also: they're weird and moody and they jump up on everything and they do exactly the opposite of what you want them to and they're hairy and gross and I always feel like I have a hair ball in my mouth when I'm around them and they constantly rub up against you in this I'm gonna-annoy-the-shit-out-of-you-until-you-do-exactly-what-I-want manner and then when you do happen to pet them or pay attention to them they dig their claws into you and you're supposed to be all -Oh, look at that he's making muffins - and even though he's destroying your favorite shirt you're supposed to sit there at love it! Cats suck.
However. I see you with animals, I see how wonderful you are with them, I see how happy they make you, and I just want you to know I love you so much - so much - that standing there in that cat room in Petsmart - I seriously considered getting you a cat. If Daddy hadn't been there, I probably would have. You were so unbelievably beautiful with them... Daddy is going out of town this weekend and, I don't know, if you mention you want a cat one more time, he's going to come home and see Snuffles sitting on the counter.
In case you are ever unsure... That's how much I love you!
Mommy
Thursday, February 26, 2009
You know something's gone wrong when...
Max runs into your room yelling, MOM, WE NEED THE SCISSORS!
They were playing together super nicely with the trains... and then for some reason he decided to run the battery operated James across Alex's head. "Those rubbery, spinny wheels sure can grab a lot of hair!"
But I don't know which is scarier: the fact that Alex let him do it or the fact that she ran up after him yelling, MOM, WE NEED THE SCISSORS TO CUT MY HAIR!
They were playing together super nicely with the trains... and then for some reason he decided to run the battery operated James across Alex's head. "Those rubbery, spinny wheels sure can grab a lot of hair!"
But I don't know which is scarier: the fact that Alex let him do it or the fact that she ran up after him yelling, MOM, WE NEED THE SCISSORS TO CUT MY HAIR!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
random bits
The other day...
Alex picked a ceiling hook out of the drawer, held it as an extension of her hand, and then in this deep pirate voice exclaimed: AHOY MATEYS!
A few weeks ago...
Max (all excited): I JUST FARTED AND BURPED AT THE SAME TIME!
Dan: Wow! That's an advanced move.
Max: (extremely proud): I KNOW.
A typical daily conversation...
I see Alex, with a huge wad of gum in her mouth, about to add more. She loves gum!
Me: Alex, that's enough gum. No more. I don't want you to choke.
Alex: I no will.
When he wakes up all stuffy...
Max: Mommy, I don't feel very well. I think I have The Mucous.
Me (thinking to myself): Much better than having The Vomit.
Alex picked a ceiling hook out of the drawer, held it as an extension of her hand, and then in this deep pirate voice exclaimed: AHOY MATEYS!
A few weeks ago...
Max (all excited): I JUST FARTED AND BURPED AT THE SAME TIME!
Dan: Wow! That's an advanced move.
Max: (extremely proud): I KNOW.
A typical daily conversation...
I see Alex, with a huge wad of gum in her mouth, about to add more. She loves gum!
Me: Alex, that's enough gum. No more. I don't want you to choke.
Alex: I no will.
When he wakes up all stuffy...
Max: Mommy, I don't feel very well. I think I have The Mucous.
Me (thinking to myself): Much better than having The Vomit.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
25 Things About Me
This was a Facebook meme that I finally got around to...
1. I once climbed nine peaks in one day along the the Ruby Range in the Elk Mountains: Purple Mountain, Augusta Mountain, Richmond Mountain, Hancock Peak, Oh-Be-Joyful Peak, Afley Peak, Purple Peak, Mount Owen, and Ruby Peak. I thought about that day when I was in labor both times... it's still my most difficult physical achievement.
2. Speaking of labor, I don't know why anyone would want to be a doula. Picture it: You're a doula. You're in a hospital. You open the door to a birthing room and find a mother close to 10cm circling in her bed as if she's some animal bedding down. You say hello in an extremely perky voice and ask her if she wants to bounce on a ball for a bit. Seriously? No. Look in the corner. See that guy over there in the chaise lounge stuffing his face with a burger? The husband. That's what he's for.
3. My favorite sound is my husband's laugh.
4. We were married on the beach in St. John by some guy named Frank wearing a brown polyester suit. I have no idea what our vows were, but I remember that.
5. Swimming in open water scares the crap out of me. I blame my sister. (you know what you did)
6. Heights, however, are no problem.
7. I really miss climbing... the whole adventure of it.
8. But, I'm glad to be skate skiing again. I love skate skiing. I can have snot hanging from my nose, underwear riding up, a bunion on fire, and lungs that feel like they might explode and I still love it. There's nothing like the feeling of gliding on your skis.
9. I also love to cook. I am now extremely thankful for all of my restaurant and catering experience.
10. I have been a frozen yogurt server, a note-taker for the deaf, a nanny, a hotel maid, a banquet server, a waitress, a prep cook, a fast-order cook, a bagel baker, a dish washer, a pastry chef, a pantry chef, a caterer, an art gallery clerk, a lingerie boutique clerk, a chemist, and a paralegal.
11. I'd like to try farming... nothing huge, but enough land to grow most of our own food.
12. It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned that different chickens produced different colored eggs. (i know)
13. I really want to learn to knit.
14. I don't like shopping... for anything... especially with the kids.
15. If I ever have to retie one of my shoes, I have to do the other one as well because I can't stand them feeling different (one tighter than the other).
16. I also like to have all food items in my cupboards, pantry, and refrigerator placed so that their labels are facing out.
17. I have some issues.
18. I have a large mole on the top of my right thigh (should anyone every need to identify my body?)... and a huge bunion on my right foot... and some large scars on my right knee and left hip.
19. I tend to say offensive, stupid, morbid, and completely gross things when I'm trying to be funny... and trying to come up with 25 things about me.
20. One summer, during college, I camped out to save money.
21. I actually slept better that whole summer than I have in the past 5 years.
22. I now drink slightly more coffee in a day than I probably should... sometimes a whole pot... depending on the previous night.
23. For me, the most difficult aspect of parenting is the lack of sleep. That, and my super slow reaction time. I always feel like I should have said or done something much better...
24. I was never afraid of dying until I had kids.
25. I am an extremely lucky person.
1. I once climbed nine peaks in one day along the the Ruby Range in the Elk Mountains: Purple Mountain, Augusta Mountain, Richmond Mountain, Hancock Peak, Oh-Be-Joyful Peak, Afley Peak, Purple Peak, Mount Owen, and Ruby Peak. I thought about that day when I was in labor both times... it's still my most difficult physical achievement.
2. Speaking of labor, I don't know why anyone would want to be a doula. Picture it: You're a doula. You're in a hospital. You open the door to a birthing room and find a mother close to 10cm circling in her bed as if she's some animal bedding down. You say hello in an extremely perky voice and ask her if she wants to bounce on a ball for a bit. Seriously? No. Look in the corner. See that guy over there in the chaise lounge stuffing his face with a burger? The husband. That's what he's for.
3. My favorite sound is my husband's laugh.
4. We were married on the beach in St. John by some guy named Frank wearing a brown polyester suit. I have no idea what our vows were, but I remember that.
5. Swimming in open water scares the crap out of me. I blame my sister. (you know what you did)
6. Heights, however, are no problem.
7. I really miss climbing... the whole adventure of it.
8. But, I'm glad to be skate skiing again. I love skate skiing. I can have snot hanging from my nose, underwear riding up, a bunion on fire, and lungs that feel like they might explode and I still love it. There's nothing like the feeling of gliding on your skis.
9. I also love to cook. I am now extremely thankful for all of my restaurant and catering experience.
10. I have been a frozen yogurt server, a note-taker for the deaf, a nanny, a hotel maid, a banquet server, a waitress, a prep cook, a fast-order cook, a bagel baker, a dish washer, a pastry chef, a pantry chef, a caterer, an art gallery clerk, a lingerie boutique clerk, a chemist, and a paralegal.
11. I'd like to try farming... nothing huge, but enough land to grow most of our own food.
12. It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned that different chickens produced different colored eggs. (i know)
13. I really want to learn to knit.
14. I don't like shopping... for anything... especially with the kids.
15. If I ever have to retie one of my shoes, I have to do the other one as well because I can't stand them feeling different (one tighter than the other).
16. I also like to have all food items in my cupboards, pantry, and refrigerator placed so that their labels are facing out.
17. I have some issues.
18. I have a large mole on the top of my right thigh (should anyone every need to identify my body?)... and a huge bunion on my right foot... and some large scars on my right knee and left hip.
19. I tend to say offensive, stupid, morbid, and completely gross things when I'm trying to be funny... and trying to come up with 25 things about me.
20. One summer, during college, I camped out to save money.
21. I actually slept better that whole summer than I have in the past 5 years.
22. I now drink slightly more coffee in a day than I probably should... sometimes a whole pot... depending on the previous night.
23. For me, the most difficult aspect of parenting is the lack of sleep. That, and my super slow reaction time. I always feel like I should have said or done something much better...
24. I was never afraid of dying until I had kids.
25. I am an extremely lucky person.
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