April Snowstorm

Max went out first to play. He ended up making a ramp off of the end of the slide. It was so fast - and really launched them forward into the snow. They loved it! Because at our house super fun = super dangerous!

My Daughter Doesn't Play With Dolls

You'd think this was my first day on the job...

This morning Alex asked if she could take her new favorite, very small, rubber, bouncy ball to Costco. And I immediately just said, "SURE." Red Flag! Red Flag! Red Flag! You should NEVER, EVER say YES in such a quick manner. That's like rule #1 in The Book... wherever that thing is. You always say NO at first. It buys you some time to think about all of the possible scenarios and whether or not you have the energy and sense of humor to deal with them. I can't even say MAYBE to my kids because they think it means YES - if Max smells an inch of wiggle room I'm completely screwed.

Anyway.
I know you'll be astonished to hear this: the damn thing ended up bouncing all over the store - and there I was - like the stupidest person that ever lived - chasing after it - with the monster cart - for the better part of an hour while Alex screamed, "MY BALL, MOMMY! GO GET MY BALL." For some reason I kept giving it back to her because it seemed like a preferable alternative to listening to her scream about not having it. But like I said... I wasn't thinking clearly. Obviously.

Spring Glue Project

The other day the kids and I made these little, hatching chicks for Easter. I love the crazed look they ended up having - which perfectly reflects the energy of the craft scene. There were feathers and little bits of feathery pieces EVERYWHERE.... for days.

Don't Be Messin' with Alex

Dan made this sign for Alex's bedroom door so that she won't be scared to sleep by herself. It was her idea and it has worked beautifully so far... though Max almost blew it by telling her that dragons and dinosaurs can't read! I say almost because this was her response to him (as it is most of the time): "MAX, DON'T SAY THAT TO ME!" ... and then she stomped away.

Porn for Moms

We caught two more mice in our traps. YAY - there's probably only a hundred more. I saw them the next morning... but since they were in the basement I left them for Dan. As a past trapper, I don't like to deny him the experience. I'm thoughtful like that. No really... there's nothing like watching your husband man-up and peel mice heads off the trap boards before dropping them into the trash... it's so HOT!...

It's not the rubber gloves, or even the way he expertly handles dead animals that turns me on... it's the "Here - honey - let me take care of that ultra-disgusting task for you."

Eight simple little words: Let me take care of that... without bitching or whining... just because I want to... for you.

Another Reason to Get a Cat

The mice are amongst us. We caught four in traps last week with no sign of anymore until today. Mice poop in the kitchen. Shit. Apparently that's not all I said. Alex started yelling at Max to come downstairs "because there's a freakin' mouse in here with lots of mouse poop - come look at the poop!" I stuffed a laugh down at first, and then she just kept saying it... freakin' mouse... freakin' mouse... freakin' mouse... Mommy, there's a freakin' mouse in here...

No public outings for her for a few days.

To put the final touches on this very long day of sucky parenting, I set the mother-effin traps and managed snapping my previously-smashed-and-almost-finally-healed finger at least 3 times. Parenting is not the only thing I suck at. At least no one but the mice were around to hear me.

I can't wait 'til morning.

Back to Normal

It turns out all Alex needed was a nice, long bubble bath and a mini mani/pedi afterwards. That, and I started saying 'stupid underwear' to her every 15 seconds. For some reason she thinks those two words (part of a line from The Polar Express) are the funniest words EVER. Honestly, she doubles over with hysterical laughter every time she hears them... it just kills her.

While I was giving Alex a bath, I heard music coming from downstairs and realized Max had turned on the iPod and stereo... and had found his two favorite songs these days: I Walk the Line and Ring of Fire. I thought, Holy Crap, he figured out how to use the iPod! Then, Hallelujah!, now he can sit and listen to the same song over and over again all by himself. And that's what he did. By the time we went downstairs for dinner he was still dancing and singing to Ring of Fire. Mostly he just likes yelling FIRE.