How much longer do I have to say, "I'm sorry?"

So... last October... I was driving the car with Max and Alex in back... like I do everyday... and we had the windows rolled down. But Alex started crying because it was blowing her hair around and Max started yelling because he was too cold so... I rolled the windows up.

Only... rolling the windows up didn't stop Alex's crying - in fact it became screaming and crying - and then Max started screaming and crying because Alex wouldn't stop screaming and crying and GOD FORBID anyone should be louder than he is!!!

For some reason... at that particular moment... probably because there is just SO MUCH screaming and crying in any given day... I chose to just ignore it all... and turned the music up real loud so that I could concentrate on the driving... which, in truth, is usually the thing being ignored with kids in the car.

ANYWAY, after a few minutes of the chaos, it became clear that maybe something was ACTUALLY WRONG. So... I turned the music down and screamed, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?" Alex tried to reply, but I couldn't understand her so I calmly asked Max if he knew what she was trying to say - he's pretty good at translating for Alex when she's crying so hard she can't speak clearly - and he was all, "HER FINGERS ARE CAUGHT IN THE WINDOW!!!!"

Sure enough, I look back at poor Alex with her little arm hanging from the top of the window by two fingers. I immediately roll the window down and stop to check and make sure they're not crushed. Thankfully, they were not crushed... but it took a while for the dents to disappear. I felt so terrible and kept telling her I was so sorry... over and over and over.

I don't think the apologies mattered much. This event deeply scarred my daughter!

However, I didn't realize the extent of the scarring until Spring came this year and we started rolling the windows down for some fresh air.

The second I push that button these days, it's automatic: "Max make sure you keep your fingers out of the window because do you remember when Mommy closed the windows on my fingers and she wouldn't roll it back down and it hurt so badly!?!!! Do you remember that? When she did that?! It really hurt. Mommy please don't close the windows on my fingers again. Okay?! I will tell you when to roll the windows up. When it's safe. Okay?! You don't just do it. Cause then you might close the window on my fingers again and I don't want you to do that because it REALLY HURT BADLY! You really hurt me badly!"

Now every time I try to roll the windows down, I have to relive one of my most embarrassing parenting moments... over and over and over again!