Sunday Morning

"How are the kids doing?", everyone asks. I don't really know how to answer. I don't really know. They seem to be handling it fairly well so far, although it's hard to tell. If I push my guilt aside long enough to get a clear view, they seem pretty well adjusted. But when they have certain issues and moments, it's difficult to assess the source and I have to fight my natural tendency to accept the blame.
Max has definitely chosen to focus on the positive aspects of the situation: he likes having two rooms, different toys at each house, and TWO TV'S! For the most part he still handles everything with his normal confidence and exuberance. Yet there are times when he crumbles so easily - he overwhelmed with a lot of emotions. There's a distance and a maturity in his eyes when he looks at me. A bit of his pure, innocence has been stolen by circumstances beyond his control. He's definitely got a lot of questions he's not even sure how to ask... I really try to create a space for him to say or do what is necessary. It brings me immense joy when I see him smile like this these days. Not that it's so unusual for him to do so, but I don't take it for granted like I use to.
It's a bit more difficult to tell with Alex. There are days when I can tell that it all seems very natural to her... and then there are days where I feel her struggling with sadness and confusion. I've tried to create space for her to express herself as well. This was the purpose of the Fairy Garden - in a more literal sense. She loves to sit next to it... and collect bugs.
Lately, she has been collecting the isopods she finds and has made a home for them in a plastic container she keeps by her bed. Everyday she checks on them and rearranges their house. She was giving them a complete remodel this morning.

I see these little people handling this situation with such courage and compassion - they have taught me so much about how to live life. I'd like to think that I'm teaching them some good things as well: how to find the beauty and worthiness in this imperfect world - in themselves, to love and honor themselves, to ask for what they need, and to do what is necessary to preserve their truth. But, honestly, I think they already know these things. I think they're going to be just fine...