"Breaking My Motherly Balls"

That's definitely not mine. But thank you, Annne Lamott (Operating Instructions). It pretty much sums up my week, sans husband, perfectly. We started off strong...going to the train museum...then to the outdoor waterpark nearby... Max was on his best behavior and I managed to keep them both from drowning AND getting lost. I was feeling on top of my game.

Then Alex fell Sun. night and cut her tongue on one of her teeth. I didn't realize how badly until later on that evening (it bled a lot, but had stopped and she was acting fine). Monday morning I took a look and the gash was so deep there was a bit of a flap and it really freaked me out! To make a long story short, I called my pediatrician for some advice and mostly reassurance. I ended up talking with a super bitchy and uninformed nurse practitioner who made me feel like a dumb, neglectful ass for not rushing my baby to the ER instantly. She sent me to the urgent care unit at the hospital (wrong place) and I eventually waited three hours and paid $100 for the physician's assistant (too ridiculous for even a doctor to look at) to glance at her tongue for a couple of seconds and tell me she'll be just fine. "We only suture if the tongue is practically falling off." Great. Thank you. By the way, waiting three hours in an ER with two small children translates into about three unbelievably stressfull days and I can't even begin to describe the number of subsequent injuries that were narrowly avoided!!!

Her tongue has been healing pretty well, although she's been quite a bit crankier than normal... what with a gash in her tongue and all. She even fell again yesterday and bit it in the same spot. Oya-Vay!

Somewhere between then and the edge of now... and all of the tomato sauce and pesto making and bean picking (I officially hate gardening)... in between the mountains of laundry, the tantrums, the dinner I make every night that noone eats and just ends up all over the floor and in a certain someone's hair...the carrying of both of them everywhere... the not napping...and the "Eat your breakfast now or you're going to be late for school!!!" for the tenth time every morning... I just sort of desintegrated.

And then I poured myself a glass of wine.